Another Ex Parte – One of Many

Another hurdle successfully cleared.

Some may flinch at the word, “Victory” but I am not using the word in terms of “winning”.  That isn’t what this is about.  I feel like I’ve had a victory in protecting my little girls.  A victory in terms of the court finally understanding the severity of this situation.  A victory in that the courts are doing the right thing by protecting my children.

We just left the court.  It was an ex parte (emergency) hearing so we didn’t need to be in the courtroom.  The judge made his decision based on the paperwork that had been submitted by the girls’ attorney and myself.

  • The judge set a formal hearing for February 8, 2012 where everything will be reviewed in greater detail.
  • I originally asked for supervised visitation pending the next hearing.
  • The judge granted a different order: NO VISITATION until the next hearing.

I am relieved.

Finally, the courts are taking this seriously.

Finally, enough evidence has been presented that his true colors are apparent.  The girls’ attorney pulled his criminal record and painted a picture for the court that I was previously unable to prove:

  • October 15, 2011 – DUI
  • June 4, 2010- Drunk in Public which was dismissed if he agreed to complete 15 Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.  He completed classes and the case was dismissed on December 16, 2010.  I had been made to believe that they threw the case out because it wasn’t valid.  I had no idea that he bargained for a dismissal in lieu of AA classes.
  • April 27, 2000- Drunk in Public which he was actually charged with and appears on his record.
  • There was also a 1997 drunk driving which didn’t show up on his record and can’t be admitted into evidence but the attorney is aware of this fact as well.

I am hopeful about the upcoming court dates.

We are back in court Monday (January 23, 2012) for child support issues.  Have a hearing to address future visitation/custody on February 8, 2012 and then a six-month review hearing in March.

I am ready for it all– bring it on.

 

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One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.

History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.

Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat.  Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.

 

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Comments

  1. Congrats Tina!

    A true victory will be when you husband comes to a place in his life where he will want to be responsible enough to be involved with the care & raising of his children.

  2. The more I read about narcissism (which is what I believe he suffers from), I have let go of that hope. I have held out that hope for a very long time (including while we were married).

  3. Becca

    I am so glad to be reading this post! Congrats!

  4. I was hoping to see this post today. Thank God!!!!!!! You must have been in shock to find out the truth about his criminal history, I know I was when a detective informed me of my ex’s.

  5. That is SO awesome, Tina! Congrats!! Enjoy the peaceful weekends! Okay, not so peaceful with two little girls running around…enjoy the beautiful noise 🙂

  6. Heather

    I hate to say it, but I have to agree. Your husband sounds very much like a toxic narcissist who simply does not understand why he should care how his behavior affects others.

    Congratulations on sticking it out and following through until his true nature could be revealed and admitted into evidence for the court. I’d be very surprised if many of the same thoughts running through your head are not also running through the judge’s.

    After you get the girls down tonight, sit back, put your feet up. Give yourself permission to have a victory drink and relax. You have earned it

  7. Wonderful 🙂 I am glad the judge is taking this seriously! I hope the next hearingvgoes weLl, too!

  8. Brenda

    Tina,

    Whew! I’ve just read through all of your posts and am sad to say that we were married to the same man. It feels like there is an epidemic of narcissism/selfishness that we can’t get away from. While we were never as wealthy as you were (or he made it seem to be), my ex certainly bought whatever he wanted and I learned to live with what I had. Those lessons were good when I finally got him to move out. We didn’t have children together. My kids are step children (his). Three years and a half years after he “left our marriage” and 2 and half after he moved out, my kids still love me and we have contact frequently. X insisted that our agreement said that his permission was required for me to see the kids. He didn’t have a lawyer to explain to him that the mom has the say in that if they are under her care. The kids are 19, 17 and 13 year old twins. All are wonderful and I, like you, never said a bad word against their father. They figure it out on their own. There is no need to explain anything to them. They get it. As young as your children are, they still get it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt them, because it does in a big way. I guess I just want to say that you aren’t alone and I am glad that you finally have some validation and freedom. Keep yourself and your girls safe. He might be crazy enough to try something. Please keep all of your “safety nets” in place! Know where to go if you need to and always have your cell phone with you and charged. I will keep you in my prayers.

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