Divorcing a Narcissist: The Mask of the Doting Father
It’s somewhat ironic that masks scare me given the fact that I spent almost ten years with a Narcissist who chose a new mask each day. It is also no wonder that it took me so long to figure out what I was dealing with. As soon as I thought I understood him, he would put on a new mask. Being married to or divorcing a Narcissist is like being stuck in a horrible, dark theatrical performance that no one can understand despite how hard you try to explain it to them.
I’ve been home all week with a sick little girl. My youngest daughter contracted a virus called ‘Hand Foot Mouth’ virus and we’ve had a rough time over the past five days. I notified my X about the virus as this was his visitation weekend. There is a small child who lives in his family’s house so he opted to cancel visitation yesterday and I was thankful for that.
He immediately put on the “doting dad” mask. He needed to pretend to play the loving, caring father because he was cc’ing our daughters’ attorney on each email. He needed an audience for his grand performance. Being that he thinks he is a doctor (Reality check #1: he sells medical supplies. He is a salesman), he began sending pages of information about the virus from the Mayo Clinic. I responded to him by stating that I am in communication with her doctor and have things under control to which he replied, “Please let me know how (Daughter) is doing? Hand, foot and mouth can be very, very serious for infants. Best regards, The X”
Reality Check #2: Our daughter is five years old. She isn’t an infant. Maybe he missed a few years? This confusion may explain why he recently bragged in court about signing up for a series of parenting classes. One class was called, “Raising your spirited 2-year old”. Very interesting and admirable but our daughters are 5 and 7 years old. Maybe he is trying to catch up and start from the beginning? Who knows –it does look good on paper and that is what matters, right?
This is the same man who hasn’t bothered to visit our daughter in the hospital after any of her seizures since 2009 despite being notified each time. On one occasion he pretended to be working and was unable to leave his sales appointment. His Facebook account showed that he was watching a sporting event near his home.
Anyone else want a refund to the theatrical play called, “The Narcissistic Doting Father“?
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