Divorcing a Narcissist: Inside the Mind of a Narcissist
As you may remember, he agreed to change the visitation time slightly to accommodate a birthday party that the girls wanted to attend. Because he needs to maintain control, he would never agree to a change unless it benefited him directly so I had to wonder what his motivation was. It could have to do with his mother being here for the summer and acting as a voice of reason. Nevertheless, he agreed to change and I was both surprised and thankful.
I knew that something would be right around the corner because the change seemed too easy. Sure enough, I received this email shortly after:
Tina- I accommodated your request to change the visitation time this Saturday to 2:30 PM to 8:30 PM. I do look forward to seeing the girls on the 21st at 2:30 PM and the 22nd at 11 AM.
You will recollect that following the custody evaluation by (Mrs. Evaluator) that the recommendation is that the girls spend three weekends with overnights with me as well. The other agreement was that i could take the girls on a five day vacation. I kindly asked you to grant a vacation to San Diego with my Mom and the girls
I do not want to have to go request a hearing with court to spend Wednesday the 1st of August through Sunday the 5th of August with the girls to bring them to San Diego Wild Animal Park and Lego Land. Would you please say this would be fine? Best regards, The X
Let’s Step Back into Reality for a Moment:
1. The evaluation and court order that he refers to was from June of 2010. A LOT has changed since that time. Mainly, the court has seen through him and he was caught lying about the girls whereabouts multiple times. The lies about where the children were being kept resulted in a new court order that took away his overnight visits.
2. As a Narcissist, he truly believes that he can choose whichever court order seems to fit his needs at the time. It doesn’t matter than the order is over two years old or that there have been 5-10 new orders that supersede the one that he is referencing.
3. Let me get this straight: you want me to forget that I have spent three + years of my life in battle to protect my daughters? You want me to forget the countless nights that I have worried about where my daughters were staying and whether or not they were going to be coming home to me after a visit? You want me to just “forget” the court order that I fought so hard to obtain that ensures my daughters sleep safety in their own beds each and every night.
The long and short answer: “No….”
My response to him:
X- As you know, there is a court order in place that supersedes the order that you are talking about from all the way back in 2010. You are asking me to violate a court order and the answer is no. I do not feel comfortable with you taking the girls out of the county for overnight visits. I plan to adhere to the court order as it is written. Tina